AN: This story has gotten some of my most reviews on AFF.net and I didn't even come up with the plot! XD
Edward Nygma, The Riddler as he more often went by, couldn’t have been much more pleased with himself and his plans that late spring night. He had perfected the final touches on what he found to be his most enjoyable scheme -- in the last few months at least -- just days before and it had played out perfectly thus far. So now he stood on the top of a trashy casino roof, basking in the warm weather and the glowing neon lights of the city. He had labored long and hard to enjoy the state of exasperation his newest riddle would leave Batman and Robin in and the expectations were high, after all, they only had three minutes left to find him and solve it. He was going to be gone after that; Florida for a month had a nice ring.
He had of course, not expected to have been met by the lesser rated hero, Batgirl, instead of his usual nemesis. Now, it wasn’t actually that she was that much worse than say Robin, but being brought in by her held much less pull in Arkham than by The Batman. Honestly, it made him feel second-rate that the Dynamic Duo had been pre-occupied with Two-face on that same night. Was he really slipping that much below the radar that a mentally instable District Attorney’s rambling accounts of his misplaced coin were more important? Sure, he may have been holding the Mayor hostage till it was found, but it was just a misplaced coin and Eddie had engineered its disappearance!
So little Miss Bats went through her routine of warning him about the error of his ways, threatening him with legal actions and so on. He pouted in annoyance; this was much more of a thrill coming from her heartthrob. She continued on to warn him she didn’t have time for this and all the other things they taught in ‘Tights and Masks - The Way to Find Your Own Inner Bully’. Nothing he hadn’t heard before a hundred times. He couldn’t say that he found it as intimidating as when it came from The Batman, but he gave it half an ear no matter, voicing that he wouldn’t surrender when it seemed appropriate, which was about twice.
Finally she quieted some and he shook his head in disappointment, though he still continued on his quest; it had come too far to go back now just because it was the wrong Bat. He had an important question for her to answer and with the right answer he would give her over the keys he had stolen from the asylum. With locks so old-fashioned it would take longer than they wanted to unlock the door to the ‘personal effects’ and then, only then, to find that last clue he had left. She already must have known that; he had left a cryptic note to imply that much. Only in Gotham City would the keys have been so easily left out and about for wandering hands to slide into their pockets and only there did it make more sense to call for the vigilantes than the lock-picks.
“Alright, well, my dear. I suppose since the Caped Crusader and his Cooing Catamite haven’t chosen to grace us with their presence, we might begin ourselves.” The Riddle said, feeling bitter towards the two, though he looked at the young woman standing before him with his typical smug manner. He could still have fun; she was eye candy if possibly not as smart as her friend. He shrugged his shoulders at the thouht and then stood up as straight as he could, resting his hands on his cane. “I will give you several clues, to help you along the way.” He began, amusement growing when the girl seemed to brace herself.
“There are five houses in five different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The five owners drink a certain type…” His words were cut off by Barbra throwing her garish yellow gloved hand up into the air to pause him. It was incredibly rare that he was interrupted from his speech but he waited for what he expected to be a question with a smirk. That half grin vanished as soon as Batgirl spoke, crumbling to one of disgust and disappointment. The criminal had not been expecting the words that slid so easily out of between her full painted lips, not at all.
“The German owns the fish.” She declared, answering the puzzle without him even finishing it first. Barbra Gorden may have been many things, but stupid was not one of them. On hearing that the Riddler was likely involved in the current struggles with the Arkham inmates, she had gone through every book on puzzles and riddles that she could find. There were piles of them in Gotham’s library; some old enough that he was likely to have sought those out on his rare trips there before he had been imprisoned. She had memorized the ones that didn’t seem logical and here it was; he had used one that she knew!
Eddie threw his own gloved hands in the air in frustration, this whole night had been blown now. “What are you? A librarian?! Only two percent of the world’s population is supposed to be able to answer that!” His voice sounded bitter and angry and he paced back and forth in a small circle, upset with the change in plans. Now he couldn’t even trust Einstein! The man had made a promise that if it were answered within three minutes; he would give up the key so he reached into his pocket for the object with a growl. The dull metal didn’t shimmer in the light when he held it out to her, as if it couldn’t be bothered to try to be cheerful.
Neither, it turned out could Batgirl as she shook her head while she approached Edward, her heels clacking against the cement top of the building. “No, Eddie. I know you didn’t just steal the key to the personal affects and let out Harvey Dent, Hell-bent on finding his coin.” He swallowed as the girl moved closer to him but he let her put her delicate hand around his wrist without resistence. It had been long enough since the last time he had gotten much of any attention from a woman who wasn’t Harley-Qinn. Her other hand she held under his own and he dropped the key into it obediently. She slid it into her belt then and he swallowed heavily as he watched.
He hadn’t planned on her being able to get as close to him as she was now and her tone was low and intimate. Behind her cowl she looked contemplative but he found his eyes were moving to her flowing scented locks; bats didn’t normally smell like Herbal Essence. Her hand moved to his face then, gentle and without the intention of striking. A finger slid up under his mask and she looked pleased when he allowed her to remove the flimsy cloth covered domino. She smiled then at his features as if they pleased her greatly. Was the woman not as nuts about The Batman as he had thought? He found himself smiling back at her shyly with the thought.
“Now, Eddie.” She said in that same soft whisper voice, with just a hint of scolding to it that made her ruby lips look seductive. He could feel his heart flutter a bit at the undertone; she was looking straight into his eyes with such an intense look that he instinctively wanted to look away. The color of her eyes held his gaze. He couldn’t have hoped that she was really harboring a crush for him or was even in lust with him, but he still liked to feel wanted once in a while and there were signs of affection. “Eddie, where did you put that coin?” She inquired.
“It’s…it’s in my pocket.” The Riddler half stumbled, nodding down towards the same jacket pocket he had stowed the key in, he had liked the way they briefly clinked together when he did. But now deft fingers slid down into the pocket, brushing an elegant wrist against his body as she pulled up the two headed coin. That too was slid into one of her utility belt’s compartments before she spoke, her voice more stern and much less flirting than before. Well, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t known she was using her wile unfairly. “Why did you start this up to begin with?” She inquired, aqua colored eyes narrowing under her cowl. “I know Harvey,” She continued without an answer and Eddie mused silently ‘Don’t we all?’
“He’s a good guy.” She added, though Edward, and a good number of the other inmates, could have sworn anyone else would have begged to differ. In fact, the way he looked at it, Former D.A. Harvey Dent betrayed you no matter which side you stood on. He wasn’t really the type of guy that you could anticipate the actions of but with all the unfortunate cunning of any lawyer. He tried to point this out but, before more than a weak start to his point came out; “Well, half of him is.” he fell silent again. Her hand was growing tighter around his wrist. That made him a bit nervous he had to admit, but he nodded meekly at her instead; he didn’t feel as bold without his mask.
Barbra continued her lecture with more vigor when she noticed his reprimanded look. The Riddler wasn’t the hardest villain to overthrow if you could play his game but really this kind of childish stunt just upset her. She had thought…better…at least more inventive games came out of his fractured brilliance than things like this. It was bullying a mentally-ill man into snapping when he was trying to go the straight and narrow. “It’s just nothing but unkind to pick on someone like him…he’s not well.” She reproofed with more than a touch of annoyance. It was hard to phrase things in a way that didn’t sound like porn when he looked at her with such an expectant glance. “You’re just kicking someone while they’re down!”
When the Riddler looked at her with suddenly new found pride at that declaration, out came the batcuffs. More action less talking was obviously in need. Besides she couldn’t form a good gruff ‘back in your place, criminal’ rant like Batman and so this would have to do. Eddie spun around for her with pleasure upon seeing the batcuffs, dropping his cane to the side so that she could properly cuff him. He couldn’t wait to tell everyone what she had said; it made Harvey sound like such a child. “You’re just as right as could be, my dear.” He offered her. Sometimes, when you had to cuffs someone, it was good to be underrated as just an attractive woman.
As Barbra snapped the themed cuffs on above his hands, Eddie caressed her wrist fondly with long gloved fingers. He had actually had a rather good time even though it hadn’t gone through as he had expected; he couldn’t keep from smiling when she returned the gesture with a run of her palm down his forearm. “Eddie,” She said, with her voice taking on a commanding tone he wouldn’t have imagined coming from her lips. “I want you to be able to understand that I’m not playing around, but you can’t seem to take me seriously.” ‘Well, no doubt of that,’ he thought to himself with a snort ‘It’s hard to take anyone who has that much affection for crazy men in costumes seriously!’
Before he could voice this however, he felt himself falling forward. The pavement looked awfully hard bellow him with nothing to catch his fall and also a sudden sharp pain around his legs where Barbra had tripped him. Her left arm caught his upper body before his face could hit the ground, lightening quick and startling but still not before he let out a sound of surprise and grief. “Well, I see I have your full attention this time.” She said with a sharp sound. Eddie’s heart was pounding and he swallowed nervously as he nodded. Maybe she was crazier than he had thought.
“So allow me to rephrase,” Batgirl said, her voice taking on a different note now that she had seen his moment of worry, it sounded like one of pleasure. She felt much more in charge after seeing him fearful of her but she still had to explain her case to the delinquent. Her hand slid in front of Eddie and grasped his cane from where it had been tossed, holding it with a menacing firmness that, truth be told, scared him. He could have sworn he felt his heart beat rise all the way into his throat when he heard the whistle of the air behind him. The short staff landed with practiced grace across his backside and he gritted his teeth together at the pain.
God, the family of Chiroptera-wannabes was just as screwed up as a real family! Batgirl had him here, all to herself, had gotten him all flustered and now she was spanking him? He didn’t even want to know what Batman did when he was alone with Robin. Normally, on most occasions, he might have voiced the suggestion coming to mind but instead he let out a sharp ‘Ow’ as the cane struck him again. The blow had felt hot and sore and almost as if in that brief motion it had already cut him deeply. He worried that his eyes were giving away his confusion and upset and he tried his hardest to keep them from watering.
“Eddie.” Another blow and he hung his head down, gritting his teeth harder when she slid a knee up under him to support his chest. Her leg was beautifully fit, her thigh the perfect mixture of muscle and smooth curves but as she scolded him he wanted to be anywhere but lying against it. “You are far too smart for this.” Several blows with the cane, it hit the underside of his buttocks where his thighs began and he yelped. He wasn’t going to be able to sit if she didn’t stop that; he bruised too easily for this kind of treatment. “I am too smart for this! Batgirl, really! I know you can come up with a better method of correction!” He hurriedly suggested, several tears already trickling down his cheeks.
If the embarrassment hadn’t brought his ego to an ultimate low, Barbra’s next words killed it completely. “Since you’re so smart,” It didn’t feel like so much of a compliment when he was being cradled close to her body for punishment, though his heart fluttered a bit to hear it. “I know you can stop, but since you’re so immature, I don’t think you know that you can.” True enough, Eddie was unsure what he would do if he were to stop. He didn’t want to sink back into a no one and a nothing. He was smart and he wanted to be known for being smart; even if it meant breaking the laws to prove it.
He whimpered when he nodded his head; he was willing to wound his pride just that much more if he was allowed up then. His backside was already sore from the short caning and he could hear her tapping that blasted cane against the ground as she waited to see his response. That would be the last time he used it; it wasn’t that dashing. “Well, Eddie, I’m more than willing to help you learn to control your impulses.” The cane dropped and soon a petite hand was raining blows down against his backside, hard and fast. He bucked up and tried to pull away but her other hand found refuge in his warm auburn hair and pushed him back in place.
The Riddler tried counting the seconds but that turned into counting the slaps. He tried biting his own lip, he tried everything but soon he was agreeing with her methods just to try to get away. “Yes!” He sobbed between his whimpers, closing his eye as tightly as he could against his tears. “This has helped! Now please, stop!” He hated pain, he never could hold up against much. When he was a child his father had balled up his report cards and threw them in the fireplace for being such a sissy with all A’s but for his Physical Education. And all through his life he had felt bitter and frustrated with the physical and how it always seemed to make him feel weak and worthless.
“When I’m sure that you’ve learned.” Barbra mused, letting her hand rise and then fall again against the gentle curve of his buttocks. She had to admit to herself and she had no trouble doing so, that even though the Riddler was frustrating and even a criminal…he was mildly attractive. It wasn’t in the same domineering way as Batman; he didn’t sink into shadows and send shivers down her spine. He was sweetly made, with a soft mouth perfect for telling lies and under that mask large eyes that narrowed in a delightful manner now as he tried vainly to hold back tears. He made her feel powerful in an unusual way; one that said she could take care of him.
His hands clenched into fists behind his back and he whined weakly while she spanked him, shaking his head once or twice as if to disagree with the situation. His body tensed in shock when a slap would land in the same place twice and he would try to struggle and then relax and they would start over. She finally stopped when he burst out in more than simply sobs. “I….I…just want….you….to stop!” He had awkwardly lamented, hiccupping and sniffling beneath his tears. Her hand had stopped its dreaded descent then and she spoke as she rested her palm on his heated backside. “So what are you going to do?” She inquired.
There was a riddle for him that he couldn’t solve and he found that he was honestly bewildered. This was not the time to lose one’s smarts and he searched his mind quickly for the answer. She answered it for him, however, when he was silent, laying a slap down after every sentence. “Don’t break out of Arkham; you have to wait for your parole. Stop playing pranks that will hurt people; I know you can come up with something instead. And act your age so I don’t have to keep doing this!” He gasped and wailed at the exuberance with which she applied the last slaps but nodded his agreement vigorously. “Yes!”
Barbra helped the small man up then; having him stand in front of her while he tried to collect what remained of his composure. When she looked at his shoulders drooping and his head hung lowly in defeat there was a surge of dominance that coursed through her, she had never felt before. He rubbed his teary face against his shoulder, hiding his meek expression from her. She moved forward, pulling a tissue from her utility belt. “Thank you.” He whispered when she wiped away the tears that had burnt long red lines down his cheeks and found that she hoped that he didn’t obey her last request. This had been too much fun for that.